As my 6 y/o daughter sleeps peacefully next me, I’m laying here restless and sad. I just got wind that the founder of For Brown Girls, 22 y/o Karyn Washington, has passed away from suicide. I didn’t know this young woman personally but her movement and mission was vibrant. I pray it continues on; our girls need it. Her death hit home for me for a few reasons; I too suffered from severe depression and from ages 15-21 I battled with deciding to take my own life or not. I attempted suicide twice and I am reminded of that every time I look a my wrist.
I know what it’s like to feel empty and completely hopeless. Karyn was a special young woman and I’m sure many who looked at her, without knowing her story, had no idea that she was battling demons. We never know what our neighbor is going through and because of that it’s important we make it a point to be kind to one another. The people of our today’s aren’t promised to be with us tomorrow. Make sure they know you love them.
I often ask myself why I’m even still here. Why didn’t suicide win? My depression was so heavy; I’m very surprised that I’m still standing. My therapist helped me through so much…
So many of us don’t know where to turn and our demons push our angels to the side to take over. The battle is hard and sometimes fighting is no longer an option or desire.
I wish I could’ve known Karyn. There are so many things I would’ve said to her to ensure that things would get better. My eyes are tearing up as I write this… She was 22, damn… that hurts. It hurts because I was her at one point. It hurts because she had so much more life to live. It hurts because I know that it was hard for her. It hurts because her family and friends will miss her tremendously.
It hurts because we never know if tomorrow will be waiting for us…
My love and comfort goes out to Karyn’s loved ones. My prayers go up to Karyn and her mother, whom she lost in recent months. I’m sure they embraced on the other side.
Karyn, I understand. I hope you are at ease and no longer suffering. I know your wings are beautiful.
Please, if you need help, go get it. Do not be ashamed of investing in yourself. There’s nothing to be ashamed of.
Do not let suicide silence you.
I love you all.
Suicide hotline USA: 1 (800) 273-8255